Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Get me a guard and make it snappy...

Earlier this month, a 5ft long reptile called 'Mr Teeth' was found protecting a large stash of cannabis in the home of Assif Mayar in Oakland, California. The creature, initially thought to be an alligator was soon identified as a caiman by local veterinarians.

The unfortunate reptile, unexpectedly discovered in the wake of a drugs raid, has since died at Oakland Zoo. Mr Teeth had been kept in poor conditions for many years, confined to a 8-foot-by-2-foot plexiglass tank. He was originally bought by Mr Mayar to 'commemorate the death of rapper Tupac Shakur' in 1996, according to a police spokesperson at the Oakland Police Department. 

As well as significant drugs charges, the caiman's ex-owner is now set to face additional animal cruelty charges in the wake of Mr Teeth's untimely death.

Mr Teeth. RIP.


  1. here's hoping for a snappy prosecution

  2. I hear when the accused takes to the stand, he has to swear by the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth...


  3. presumably the judge will have no time for crocodile tears

  4. And here, I have to stop, because I've been trying to get the word reptile into a sentence for five minutes and it's just not happening...

    I think I might have lost my punning ability. The PhD has ruined me.